Wednesday, 25 March 2009

The 7 Habits of Successful Relationships

Your ability to create success in life is determined by the habits that you form.

Aristotle once said, " Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act but a habit"

I truly believe that to have a successful relationship with your partner you need to develop habits that support the relationship. Here are the first three.

Success Habit Number 1: 20 Second kisses

When my husband, Allan and I got married we gave the couples an envelope containing quotes for a happy marriage and one of them was to "have lots of 20 second kisses". This got the conversation going and the lips too!

Think about it when you first meet your partner you spend a lof of time kissing, its feels good! In fact, when you are teenager, you spend even more time kissing and you perfect the art. Kissing FEELS GOOD! however, most couples find that as their relationship stands the test of time, problems, children, and stress, they spend even less time kissing.

I think its true to say that less kissing means less intimacy, which generally means less sex. Successful relationships enjoy a healthy sex life. If you want to improve your relationship get back to basics and start kissing. 20 seconds is long enough to stir up the feelings, and the more 20 seconds kisses you have as opposed to a peck on the cheek, the more likely you are to connect with your partner, and to want more.

Success Habit Number 2: Focus on whats great about your partner

When you first met your partner, you spent alot of time noticing what was great about them, you would tell friends about their good points and what you love. My guess is over time one forgets the good points and we tend to notice what we dont like or what irritates us. With this in mind I want to point out two things:

  1. what irritates us in others, is usually something that we dislike or disown in ourselves!!!
  2. what you focus on expands!

I'm not going to overload you with anymore today, as I would encourage you to go and practice those 20 second kisses and write a list of the things you love about your partner.

It takes 21 days to make or break a habit, so imagine how you would feel if you did habits 1 and 2 for the next 21 days. Imagine how great your relationship would be.

Tomorrow I will share with you habits 3 and 4...

May the love be with you.

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